im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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