plz talk dirty to me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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