If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I understand Curling. That high.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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