OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
