hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
