guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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