It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
