I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need to calm my uterus...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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