pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
