That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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