just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
