i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
