he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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