1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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