When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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