i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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