You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
