this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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