after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
