There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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