dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
