wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
