'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
