Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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