Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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