As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MIDGETS
????
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
