so let's talk penis.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
