Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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