don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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