it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
