Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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