Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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