I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
