i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
