Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
