If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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