Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
