your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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