would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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