Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The ass gains better be worth it
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