We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
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She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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