i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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