how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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