i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
