your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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