I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
