come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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