All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize