It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
