I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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