Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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