Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
