I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
