Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
