and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize